Air Out Your Laundry May 2015


May 2015 (for entertainment purposes only ~ if you think it’s about you, it just may be, everyone is a target so act proper)


Dear Readers,

April Showers Bring May Flowers…..wait did it stop snowing? Have I seen a change in the weather? Even though I really like the snow, it totally relaxes me and puts me in a very serene mood but, this snow bunny’s bones are quite achy. I’m thinking a week in the Caribbean will cure these aches, but right now it’s not possible with school. School is going rather well for me, I’m content on my career choice (Pharmacy) to better myself and my future. I wanted to do this a while ago, unfortunately running a house didn’t allow me to go back. Even though I will be making a change in my life, don’t think for one minute I will stop writing this column (so grave jumper buzz the bleep off) or bartend at least a shift somewhere (so boss-man your stuck with me for a while longer LOL).  Anyhow, enough with this, let’s get to Air, we got some WINNERS this month.


** Dear Mistress,

I’m studying to become a medical assistant. In the tech school I go to, we now have a special needs student who is rude, obnoxious along with disruptive. I get he is special but, the same question every 30 seconds and then making sure everyone knows he is on meds and special is enough. I’ve said something to the teacher who feeds into his nonsense, I’ve gone to the program director and things changed for about 2 days. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this?


++ Dear Student,

I would normally say DUCT TAPE, but this is serious, go to the dean, administrator, or anyone in authority and speak professionally about the situation. If that doesn’t work, then I highly suggest a lawyer. If this kid is on meds and he is still unruly then he needs a shift in his meds to control him, or his special needs deem him to private tutoring. Now this is going to piss you off – While you’re taking out loans to better yourself, I can guarantee Special Ed goes to tech school for free!!


** Dear Mistress,

I recently hired this girl to bartend for my bar. She is very sweet, keeps the bar neat and clean, and in general a good bartender. Ok, I will get to the point. At some point of the day, she proceeds to age. I can’t tell what she is doing, but from what I have read it’s pointing to heroine! Should I question her, or ride it out and hope it’s a phase.


++ Really…Dumb Ass Ride It Out…..geez you haven’t been a bar owner in about forever. I guess ride it out and wait till she rips you off to feed her addiction.


** Dear Mistress,

I have a friend (leaning more on acquaintance) she is very sweet and polite when we go out to expensive places (which somehow I get stuck with the tab). Anyway, when we end up at our local gin mill, she turns into this skank. It’s just really on my nerves and I am constantly stunned by what comes out of her mouth…….


++ Ms Doo-mass I presume……tell it to clean up its act, shell out for once, or be gone. I work too hard for mooching slime.


** Dear Mistress,

I’m a recently retired male. My girl, who I have been with for years, thinks I am constantly going to pay her way and her over weight, snot nose kid when we go out. I’ve stated to her I’m on a fixed income and things are tight…….





Chris Stayne and Paula DiMeo Stayne are hosting The 2nd Annual Laura’s Voice/Suicide Awareness Fundraiser. Friday Night June 19th ~ 7:30pm at The Crooked Rail. All ‘monies” will help others defray burial costs, free counseling, crisis number support and to help special needs kids go to summer camp, as their daughter Laura was special needs. Hope to see you many of you on this Special Night!