Air Out Your Laundry March 2015

Air-Out_Laundry

Air out Your Laundry

Dear Readers,

March is a very interesting month, I may not be Irish, but I certainly enjoy the St. Pats Parade in Huntington. As years have passed T-Bone’s Bone Yard was my old home away from home and was the place to be for the annual parade. We had some great times at the parade. I can remember the very sexy fireman running off line into T-Bones to do shots and then get back into formation like nothing happened. Other fond memories include a friend being drunk as a skunk jumping into a garbage can that rolled down Rte. 110 with her in it, to the famed toilet bowl handle that came off at another bar and water shooting out of the bowl after I left. Ahhhh, yes some serious good times……well enough of this mushy crap and let’s see who we can bitch slap…….

 

** Dear Bitch-tress,

I don’t know who (bleep) you think you are with your smug look thinking your all that. I can’t wait to bump into you and give you a piece of my mind. Because of your advice my man and I broke up…(Holy Shit Are We In High School?)

 

++ Dear Princess,

First, I can guarantee you don’t have the b@lls to come up to me so don’t bother giving me a piece of your mind, you definitely don’t have much to give so -C U Next Tuesday- Toots!

 

** Dear Mistress,

I have an acquaintance who is a pure pig, I can’t explain the behavior, but I certainly can’t tolerate when she walks into the bar that I hang out in. I have asked her to please act lady like and to stop her trash talk. I am no prude, but the some of the things that have come out of her mouth can stun a sailor (which I have edited out). Should I say something to the bar manager or owner………(cut off time).

 

++ Dear Prudence,

Really? Go to the owner who will probably laugh at you? Go up to this sloth, say to her what you just wrote in to me and tell her to sit at the other end of the bar.

 

** Dear Mistress,

Riding season is coming and I am dreading it. My wife of many years is a great wife and I would never cheat on her, but I can’t take her with me, she may pop my tire with the weight she has put on…………..(grrrrrr)

 

++ Dear Pompous Ass,

Who the hell do you think you are? I’m sure you are not in the best of shape yourself so why don’t you go and…Yourself. Or better yet, show your wife this copy of my column in Full Throttle Magazine.

 

** Dear Mistress,

I don’t know where to begin, I love my man, but I think I have commitment issues. My guy asks me all the time to stay, but for some reason or another I run out the door after he falls asleep. He has expressed to me that this needs to stop and that he doesn’t know where our relationship stands because of it. How do I stop this phobia?

 

++  Dear Commitment Issues,

It’s not a phobia, its a fear of giving into another part of committing to the relationship. I think it’s time you buck up and start staying over, or lose the guy!

Leave a Reply