Air Out Your Laundry June 2015

Air-Out_Laundry

Dear Readers,

Happy Father’s Day to All My Father Friends. Hope all of you have a very pleasant day and many more to come. I hope all of you are enjoying the better weather. Personally I don’t do heat at all, it can stay around 70 degrees and that would be fine by me. Anyway, we have some juicy write-ins this month so let’s get rocking and laughing because we have some craziness to address.

 

** Dear Mistress,

My girlfriend and the hubby go to these clubs dressed in pleather, thigh high boots, whips and all that. She enjoys watching other couples. She openly tells me that he walks her around a bar, or nightclub with a dog collar while she is on her hands and knees. They ask us if we want to go…my husband won’t take any type of sexual behavior out of the realm of our bedroom. How can I…………

 

++ Hey Pu**y Boy

It’s time to get a move on and try something new, ya might actually like it. From experience, I’ve been out to these events with my guy and we don’t mind watching a little kink session (“Spectator Sports”). And after watching a while we can’t wait to get to the nearest hotel to do some serious Riffin and Biffin. Speaking of…………..

 

** Dear Mistress,

I want to try a particular bedroom act, but I am terrified since my guy is well endowed. I know after discussing he would love to try it with me. How can I prepare myself?

 

++ Dear Back Door Mama,

It ain’t my gig, butt from what a few of my friends say, lots of lube, booze and hold on for dear life! Yikes my butt cheeks just tightened up.

 

** Dear Mistress,

I was out recently with my guy and we went to go see some local talent, had a few cocktails and a little nosh. We went to the bar, placed the order and the barmaid placed drinks in front of us. Her attitude was swarmy, but we got over it…what we didn’t get over was the cockroach creeping up the beer bottle and the two that came out of the basket of chips she put in front of us to tide us over…..

 

++ “Ahhh%$@*^$ …….F N Joes Apartment”. I hope you did not pay for a thing and ran the “F” out of that “S” Hole! (I need a shower).

 

** Dear Mistress,

My guy and I want to know what the proper way to measure his is?

 

++ Really? Serious? (Gotta be Young-ins)

 

~~ My Pick Of The Month ~~

** Dear Mistress,

My guy friends are always bragging about going to see this barmaid at a local watering hole with a hot body. So I planned for my friends and I to join in. Well, low and behold she bends over and she is commando…

 

++ Awwww Come On Now, who the hell wants to see a slab of roast beef hanging out while sloshing down drinks? I say go back and hand her 2 slices of bread to cover that nastiness! (Skuzzy Dirty Hoe Bag).

Folks I just may hurl, till next month The Mistess

 

** Public Service Announcement **

Chris Stayne and Paula DiMeo Stayne are hosting The 2nd Annual Laura’s Voice/Suicide Awareness Fundraiser. Friday Night June 19th ~ 7:30pm at The Crooked Rail. All ‘monies” will help others defray burial costs, free counseling, crisis number support and to help special needs kids go to summer camp, as their daughter Laura was special needs. Hope To See You Many Of You On This Special Night!

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