Air Out Your Laundry Jan 2015


(for entertainment purposes only…mine)


Dear Readers,

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and wonderful New Year’s. Mine certainly was interesting, but then gain you haven’t met my family. Now here we are in 2015. I don’t know about any of you, but 2014 for me was one crazy year, from working my ass off to not working my ass off, getting my ass back into pharmacy tech school, to being a broke ass student, it all seems to be coming around. First mode which was anatomy and physiology, I pulled an 85 ~ the next mode was history with some crazy Dimensional Analysis/Math scoring a 96….my GPA is 90.3. Let’s see what this mode brings. Doses and calculations along with math being my worst subject – this should prove interesting.

But enough about me, let’s check out what the crazies wrote in this month and have a great laugh. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! xoxox The Mistress

++ Dear Mistress,

I have a part time job as a cleaning lady in a bar. I know this is going to sound weird, but one afternoon I stopped in before a giant party to check the bathroom supplies. The men’s room was locked meaning it was occupied. Low and behold my friend’s son who is mildly autistic comes running out of the men’s room with what I thought was the garbage. It wasn’t, he took off all the sanitary wrappers to the toilet paper and paper towels along with stealing close to 5 rolls of toilet paper………


~~ Whoooooaaaaaaaaaaa  (SMMFH)…… I’m not going to sound p.c here but he is mildly autistic and is stealing. Stealing is stealing and it is not tolerated in my book. His no brain mother (using the term mother loosely) should be B***h Slapped for NOT disciplining her child.


++ Dear Mistress,

(Readers if you saw this in full you’d roll) I have a severe personal problem with my bottom, this has been going on for about 3 weeks now, there is something that looks like a pinky finger hanging out of me and it’s terribly painful. I’m embarrassed to go to the doctor………….


~~ Dear Hanger,

You Get My “Biggest Moron that has Written in Award”.

Now get your hanging hemmie to the doctor and have that thing lanced!

(Where do these people come from?)


++ Dear Mistress,

I love to ride and so does my good friend. There’s a little age difference between us, but that’s not even a factor. My problem with riding with him is this: My friend gets banged up bad. On a couple of occasions I’ve had to call my girl, who has a truck with a hitch, and borrowed a trailer from a friend to pick up his bike to bring it back to his house. I want to know how I can get him to slow up?


~~ Dear Plowed in Plainview,

Your girl is a keeper to drop whatever she is doing to come and rescue your friend. It sounds like your friend is heading for a brick wall (literally). It also sounds like to me that if it weren’t for you, your friend would put his drunk ass on his bike and ride. Here’s the thing, if your friend continues to drink and drive he will either get busted up, or worst case scenario- kill himself or an innocent person(s). I would rather see him get a DUI so he has time to think about his reckless behavior before his next drinking and driving binge. As the saying goes, “You can’t help someone who does not want to help themselves.” However, you may have to end the friendship and leave him with one last thought – go to AA and get your sh*t together.


Folks don’t be shy, you usually aren’t, so keep writing in, don’t forget to check me out on facebook FTM Mistress, CAIO for now!