Air Out Your Laundry Oct-2016

air out laundry_imgageDear Readers,

I think the summer went by a little too fast, but then again me and the heat are not the best of friends. Anyhow, its fall, its gorgeous out and I’m enjoying having the windows finally opened to let in some fresh, cool air. This month is one of my favorite months, October ~ Halloween! How I remember decorating my parent’s house for my son, but even more, I remember us laying in the pile of leaves and grabbing peoples legs! Well you sucked during the past year so we got back at ya!!! Ahhhh memories, my son was a tot then.

Forget this memory crap and let’s see what the freaks wrote in this month.

~ Dear Mistress,

I remember when you called yourself Mistress back then. I guess you got embarrassed by that name.

Dear Hand Held,

I’m glad you remember, but don’t be a fool. I’m not embarrassed by anything I say or do; however, I am embarrassed by some of the ridiculous loser lives that write in to me.  (Hand Held, I crack myself up)

~ Hey Obi Wan,

I’ve been in a long term relationship and now because I tested his love for me we are broken up.

Dear Broken Up,

So you don’t mention what test you put his so called love for you against. If you broke up over it than it must have been a doozy of a test. Did you cheat, rob from him, or tell him that you had an STD? Geesh…the games people play.

HERES A WINNER

~ Dear Great and Powerful,

I hope you have some really good advice for me. I seem to have this problem and I have no one to turn to, I’m afraid to even tell my friends. (Blah blah blah) I don’t know how to describe this in detail. (Please don’t) I have a lump on top of my private area. (Did you name it Louie?) I don’t really sleep around, but I remember that this one guy had some sort of sore on his private.

 

Dear Lumpy,

WTF are you writing to me for? If you have a medical problem, go see a doctor. And by the way, you said, “You don’t REALLY sleep around.” What the hell is that supposed to mean? You either do, or you don’t. And from what you wrote in, “I remember this ONE guy.” Honey, you definitely sleep around. Do everyone that may be a future victim of yours a favor, go get your rotting crotch medical attention before you start spreading it around.

(HOLY CANNOLI, I know it’s not me)

 

~ Dear Geri,

My housemate is a low life, inconsiderate loser. I’m tired of cleaning up after him, the smoking and all his pig habits. The smell from his room smells like a hooker has been dead in there for weeks, and there is no amount of air freshener to get rid of the stench. Please don’t tell me to try and talk to this idiot.

 

Dear Raid,

I never said talk to him…BUT, get a few cans of ant and roach killer and spray him down, he sounds like a 2 legged epidemic!

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