Air Out Your Laundry May 2017

Air out Your Laundry (For my entertainment purpose only)

Dear Readers,

Before I begin rippin’ everyone apart I just want to take the time out and wish all the mommies out there “Happy Mother’s Day”. A big shout out to my baby sister, who presented the family with a bundle of joy recently. This past month has been a whirlwind, all my dreams are coming true from getting my internet show to almost being done with book #2. Now it’s that time to get to AIR!! Let’s see what weirdness we have going on this month, as well as bringing back My Pick of the Month!!

Hey Cannoli,

What I want to know is how one Ugly Nasty B****   lands a father for her 3 kids from 2 other previous fathers?

 

Dear Nosie,

  1. I want to know why you give a crap? 2. Did you ever think that this B**** has splinters in her mouth from Humming on Howdy Doody! 3. Haven’t you ever heard the word ‘Fetish’.

 

Here’s a doozy for you Ms Cannoli,

I got these two people on my job. They do nothing all day but gab in another language and make others uncomfortable. She is worse than him. Well, the other day they left the job for two hours for some parking lot romance. The best part, they got caught. What’s your take on this?

 

Dear Parking Lot Romance,

Love in the lot is cool, but don’t poop where you eat (2 idiots). What I like the most is now you have your chance to rag on P.L.S (Parking Lot Slut). Make her uncomfortable. I would, I’m good at that.

 

Dear Geri,

I got a little problem with a guy on my job. He and my wife dated in high school for quite some time. Trust me, it is not a jealousy thing. It was OVER a long time ago. He always says these little remarks about the past and the fun times he and her shared. Nothing disrespectful, but it still erks me. Don’t want to give him the satisfaction of showing him I’m pissed, but I am. Thoughts?

 

Dear Husband,

Have your wife show up for lunch at your job. Plan for her to chat with Mr. Memories in front of you making light of and almost embarrassed about their silly little romance. Now who will be erked?

 

MY PICK OF THE MONTH

I’m a transgender which MOST people in my neighborhood know. The other day I was at my local watering hole shooting pool. As I was bent over this new hood rat grabs my hips and says do you like what you feel? My reply was, “It’s about the size of a ventriloquist puppet.” It wasn’t a good scene, but he found out the HARD way I’m really a man.

 

Well folks, all I have to say is WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE COME FROM.

UNTIL NEXT MONTH…………. The Great and Powerful

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