Air Out Your Laundry May 2016

air out laundry_imgageDear Readers,

Last month was pretty crazy, this month, well, CRAZIER. I don’t know what ROCK you freaks crawled out from under, but you do a great job of entertaining me. I’m hoping all is ok with most of you, as for the rest, uh, you’ll just have to figure it out. So let’s forget the formalities and get to the goods!

Dear Obi Wan,

I was wondering, I’ve been dating my guy for about 3 months. We went out with friends one night and my best friend’s husband asked a generalized question to the group, “Where was the freakiest place you ever had sex?” I was mortified since I am a mortician…

 

Dear Mortified,

HAHAHA, I bet you guys aren’t dating any longer!

 

To The Great and Powerful,

I was in a club one night with the guys, my girl and her friends. While we were talking, a guy came to my girl and whispered something in her ear. She didn’t seem pleased and when I asked she said it was her X. I told her I’d take care of it, she told me to let it ride since we were out in public. I let it ride and now I do not feel like her man.

 

Dear Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

Gee, can’t imagine why you feel like a mealie mouse? I would have made it a point to catch up with him in the bathroom or outside *TO CHAT*. Sometimes a guys gotta do, what a guys gotta do. She would have gotten over it.

 

OB Wan

I just recently started to date this girl and bunch of us were out one night. Somehow we started talking about sex, arguments, habits and whatever else one experiences from a past failed relationship. I’ve been calling her to hang out again and she hasn’t returned my calls.

 

Dear DoooMassss,

If you were going on about past relationships to me I would have ran your bill up and pulled a Duck and Tuck in the bathroom and out the back door. Whether it was good, bad or indifferent, nobody is interested in your failed love life stories, especially not someone you are newly dating. Next time you feel compelled to talk about these failed relationships, go see a therapist…it’s cheaper, trust me.

 

Dear Geri,

I’m engaged and our wedding is a month away. My fiancé has a very weird relationship with his mother. It is almost as if we are both going to marry him. I’m not of a jealous nature and I understand the “Mother and son” relationship, some sons completely adore their mother and that’s fine. BUT…does she really need to sit on the toilet seat cover and talk to him while he is taking a bath?

 

Dear Bath Time,

NO, she shouldn’t be in the bathroom with him while he is bathing. She needs to know her place and I suggest you show it to her ASAP, or you may find her snuggled in bed between you and hubby on your wedding night.

This Is the Great and Powerful Obi Wan Cannoli signing off!

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