Air Out Laundry March 2017

Dear Readers,

I would like to thank you for your on-going support, it is greatly appreciated. As I sit here and write my column I think to myself wow I’ve been with FT Magazine since 2004 when I was babe of the month Ms.

December and I’m still plugging away all these years later. Now before I start getting mushy and say nice things let’s cut off here and get to the goods……

Ciao For Now, The Great and Powerful.

Hey Cannoli,

I got one for you. My male friend has been living with an older woman and her son is about his age. Lately my friend has been calling a lot and telling me that this ‘strung-out man child’ is threatening his mom as well as him.

Dear Friend,

I say an old fashioned *blanket party* should work on this punk ass idiot and learn him how to respect

His momma. Ya Only Got One!

 

Dear G

I see you’re coming up in the world, from bartender to a pharmacy tech.

Yo T-waffle,

I got your I.P. number and I know who you are. Now before I make a spectacle out of you

In public, I HIGHLY suggest that you send an apology. And after that, you can kiss my asterbule.

 

Holy Cannoli,

I started hanging out with this guy and everything was cool till I met two of his friends. Thing One is a rude ho, disgraceful and in general a PIG. Thing Two is a fat, lazy, non-working mooch that complains about money constantly. The last time we went out Thing One was there and he acted like I wasn’t so I walked out.

Dear Keep Walking,

I have to say that I am proud of you for walking out. I would have done the same thing and not have my name associated with this group of THINGS. Let me share with you something that my momma always told me and still does, “Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you what you are.” The guy is a loser, don’t look back.

 

Dear Great and Powerful,

I recently bumped into an X and I have to say, I am so glad that one of my female friends was with me. This friend is amazingly gorgeous, model material and my X was always jealous of her to the point where we would fight about it. It was sweet to see her squirm.

Dear Stupid,

All I hear is a whinny guy getting revenge on an X. Sounds to me like you are the one squirming. Hello…the hot model material isn’t your gal, so that tells me that you’re not good enough for her, or your X. Reality check time!

 

Well, it’s time for me to get moving, the mountain is calling so next month I may be writing with a cast on………….The Great and Powerful Obi Wan Cannoli

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