Air Out Your Laundry July 2016

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Air Out Your Laundry July 2016

Dear Readers,

Happy summer everyone. Boy, time sure does fly, this December I will be with FTM for 12 years. Through this column, I have been given the opportunity to learn more about my readers…sometimes too much, but it is always fun. I hope my column isn’t getting boring and if it is please bring it to my attention by sending me your wacky write-in @ themistress625@gmail. To my regular write ins, bring it on!

The great and Powerful OWC

~ Dear Obi Wan Cannoli,

I have a house mate who is a dead on fall down drunk. Im totally amazed that he doesn’t have a huge knot on is head. At least twice a week he falls out of bed and the whole house shakes. I want to talk…

Falling Down,

Talk? Video this cartoon character. It will be an overnight sensation.

~ Dear G


My landlord is a big, round, fat pile of useless crap. He doesn’t bath, or take care of himself. When I get back from an over-night with my boyfriend he starts calling me names and harassing me. Any advice?


Ask him, who is the last person who saw his nestles nuggets, Jacques Cousteau? Then hand him a bar of soap and a bottle of Slim Fast. That should shut him up!

~ Dear Crazy Cannoli,

Every time me and the guys and get a break from our wives, we go for a ride together and always wind up doing the loop (the same 5 bars) with our last stop being a strip club. Personally, I could care less about going to the strip clubs and feel that it is disrespectful to my wife. How can I get them to explore another direction?

New Dire


Simple, when you are out and about snap some photos of your friends with your phone and attempt to post them to your FB page…that should end the strip club visits.

~ Dear Geri,

I’m annoyed at my boyfriend’s friends. Every time we get together they talk about what my guy did in the past, but as soon as he mentions something they did they hush him up because their husbands, or wives are there. I finally said something to them and we got into a huge fight. Was I wrong?


Absolutely NOT, obviously these people feel because you and your man are not bound by a license that it is OK to be rude to you and talk

about his past. Learn what your man knows about their past and the next time they start flapping their jaws, start dropping your info and don’t let them hush you up.

~ Dear Geri

My son’s girlfriend is a bit outspoken. The last time we all got together I noticed that she would down talk to my mother (son’s grandma). So like any other daughter, I said to her, “Do you always talk to my mother like that.” She actually had the audacity to back talk me.

Big Mouth Bitch,

If that girl ever spoke down to my mother in front of me I would have knocked her teeth down her throat. I think it’s time that you offer her the 2 obvious choices– respect my family, or prepare yourself to get fitted for dentures.