Air Out Your Laundry-Feb-2017

Dear Readers,

Well the Evil Red Day is coming upon us. I can tell you this from experience – If you have a friend that seems sad or depressed because they don’t have a Valentine, do something nice… ah who the hell am I kidding, screw that mushy BS, go out and have some dammed rowdy fun!

Whatever you choose to do, enjoy and remember you don’t need a Valentine to celebrate the Evil Red Day! Now, let’s get to Air and see what The Freaks wrote in!

Dear Cannoli Cream Pie,

My chick and I split during the holidays. I’ve been really depressed and miss her a lot…

Dear Holiday Split,

Stop your whining, pick up the phone and call. The worst that can happen is that she will ignore you, or possibly text you a photo of her and the new BF. Hey, look at it this way, you got taken for the Christmas gifts, but at least you don’t have to spend for Valentines!

Dear Ms. Cannoli,

I was at my local watering hole and I met a guy who is so opposite of me. He likes to go mudding, off road racing, camping etc… Me, I’m more of an all-inclusive hotel. But there was something about him…we have been dating for months and now he wants me to join in on his hobbies. Why can’t he keep that part of his life separate from me?

Dear Opposites,

I say that you should indulge him a little bit, you just may like it. And listen, “MUD can be a very sensual experience. Think out of the box!

Dear Obi,

I’m a middle aged woman, I do not look my age at all. I met a guy who is about 6 yrs younger. We have fun together. One night we decided to meet up at the local watering hole. When I arrived he was sitting with 2 other women. One woman was all over him…and he didn’t seem to mind.

Dear Harem Scare’em,

Tell Laurence of Arabia that the next time you two meet up to leave the harem behind, or leave him behind for good.

Dear Wise One,

I share a house with 3 guys, one being my best friend. The other night my best friend and I went out. I don’t know what was up his ass, but he started talking down to me, insulting me and when we got home he made a move on me. I’m disgusted and now want nothing to do with our so called friendship. The thing is, I guess his ego was bruised, because a few days after this happened, his friend (the landlord) sent me a letter saying I need to vacate my space due to necessary construction renovations.

Dear Not so Wise One,

First of all his excuse for asking you to leave is BS. Pack up and move out and then put your She Devil moves in motion. Call a housing inspector and really fix his ass. I’ll bet anything that house isn’t up to code. Next, call the town and report his rental investments. You and I both know that this rental property is illegal. Your revenge will properly repay both these slime-balls – legally!!

 

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