Air Out Your Laundry – Aug. 2017

Dear Readers,
Time is fleeting and I don’t know if I am coming or going. So many events, so little time. The big event for me this month is watching my brother race at Englishtown. He’s got two cars going up for the Mopar series. I’m so excited. He took 2nd last year, and has gotten off to a great start for this year. Anyhow, the job calls once again so let’s get to air and see what the wacko’s wrote in this month!

Dear Geri,
I’m not overly bright, but I am very interested in attending college. My parents have said they will not help to fund my tuition because I am not college material. I’m determined, so I took on a job as a stripper to earn big money fast, and plan to register in the fall. Should I tell them about my job?

Dear Boobs for Brains:
Since your parents said you are not overly bright, I would definitely tell them. While you are at it, offer to pay some of their household bills, it may help to soften the blow when you tell them about your new career.

Dear Geri:
For the past month, every time I like one thing on social media some guy emails, hi hi hi hi hi…if I don’t answer, I get like 30 a day. I don’t want to be mean, but I’m ready to throw this nut job off my page.

Social Media Moron:
Really, you wait a month to write in for me to give you advice? You should keep talking to him, give him your phone number too!

Dear Cannoli:
My live in G.F. asked me if I like the dress she was wearing. She’s got this thing about a slutty dress she’s dying to go out in. I said, “We are going to dinner, not a Hoochie Momma pickup joint, please change?” She blew a cork and stayed home. I wanna take that skanky dress and toss it out. You think I should?

Dear B.F.:
Find that dress, shred it and toss it in the garbage! When she asks where it is, tell her you found the perfect place for it.

Dear Geri:
I got tickets right behind home base for the NY Yankees. My boyfriend doesn’t want to go with me because it falls on a bike night. So, I told him I’m going anyway. He’s not talking to me now.

Dear Yankee Fan:
This guy is a jerk. If it’s a new relationship I’d dump him! If he can’t give up one bike night for you he’s an A$$…unless, of course, it’s a Full Throttle Bike Night!

MY PICK OF THE MONTH

Dear Holy Cannoli :
I’m interested in a girl at work. I really like her, we get along great and I love the way she looks into my eyes, it just makes me go gaga. One problem – she has a boyfriend. I want her to get more interested in me. Should I send her a picture of my peepee?

Dear Mr. Great Idea:
First of all, you sound like a perv…sending a pic of Mr. Happy to someone you are not seeing is whack. Secondly, if a guy calls his manhood a peepee, there is definitely a problem with either the size of it, or how he drives it home. Lastly, the term gaga also raises some red flags. Do her a big favor and move on.

Well That’s All Folks,
Geri ~ The Great and Powerful Obi Wan Cannoli