Air Out Your Laundry 1/17

Air Out Your Laundry

Dear Readers,

Greetings from sunny Florida (as it rained when I got off the plane). Yes, The Great and Powerful Obi Wan Cannoli took time off and I ran away to fix my delightfully evil self and mend my black coal. Sometimes a change of pace is what one needs to get past a road block and find some peace along the way while finishing up a book (which is at 2 editors as we speak). Upon my return I will be diligently working on A Romance Novel.

I hope everyone’s holidays were safe and enjoyable, but some of you I love to hear about *Krampus*visiting you and handing what you deserve!

Need to rant? I’m here to listen.  Email me themistress625@gmail.com

Let’s move on to Air and see what weirdos wrote in!!

 

Dear Great One,

Once again, I was deceived by my X, I’ve been very ill and my X came to see me at the hospital under false pretenses making me think he wanted to work things out. Boy was I fooled.

 

** Dear Deceived,

They are not called X’s for nothing. Block, Delete and Move On. If that doesn’t work, black candle, pins and hex!

 

Dear G

Its Joey K again. I’ve been missing my X real bad during the holidays, I was a fool for sending her a card and a few presents, which went without even a thank you.

 

** Dear Joey – You Dumbass,

This is the 3rd time you wrote me. When are you going to learn that Beee-otch is a bipolar psycho on flaming roller skates that refuses meds. Run fast and stop looking back! There are better things over the horizon, you just have to hold on a bit. And if you feel compelled to send presents, I’ll email you my P.O. Box address and you can send them to me!

 

Hey Cannoli,

The other night I was at my guy’s house and I found special candles that I bought for our use, burned down to nothing. He claims he wanted to relax with a candle, but all 3 were used. He is not a candle kind of guy, but does enjoy the tone of candle light when we are being intimate. Am I being too suspicious?

 

Dear Firelight,

One candle yes, but all three?

Go to this MOFO’s house, get your stuff and tell him that you and your candles will be burning for another.

 

My Pick of The Month

 

Dear Holy Cannoli, wait till you read this…… My guy and I have been doing pretty good till recently. His truck broke down and guess who lent him a car. The X before me, who claims she loathes him.

 

Dear Wake-Up,

Dump this idiot, he obviously has something going on with her. Believe it or not, stranger things have happened! And please don’t write me saying that you lent him money to fix his truck and that you caught her in the passenger seat. Move on!

 

There you have it this month’s air….. Remember I’m back rejuvenated and better than Ever.